Rescue Muni

M’ladyfriend and I were sitting on a motionless MUNI train recently, stalled underground as is more frequently the norm these days, when I was struck: we can dramatically increase efficiency in the transit system today by hearkening back to the rail days of yore. Say what? How?

The Handcar!

Picture it! You stroll out to Market St, a spring in your step, a tune in your head, body shaking with the ecstasy of breathing in the new day. Errrrrttt! Suddenly the rapture screeches to a halt when you see that Nextbus projects a wait of 35 minutes.

“NOOOOOOO!”

Just then a group of three suits pumping away at the lever of a handcar roll by.

“Hop on!” they say.

Soon you’re all 4 stoking the momentum, enjoying the scenery of mid-Market St, shouting a ‘Howd’ya do!’ morning call to the vagrants. One person jumps off at 4th and another at Montgomery. You reach your destination as another group steps on and starts see-sawing their way back up Market. Finally, a clean, green and streamlined transit machine.

I foresee the re-introduction of vintage handcars, a la the F-line, restored to their original condition like the beautiful San Diego car recently added to the system. C’mon Mr. Mayor, put down those bongos and get us some handcars. At this point, the best way to fix MUNI might be to let the people push themselves.