When every stale celebrity and their hanger-on mother/sister record a collection of vapid holiday classics it’s easy to forget that there are actually real gems out there.
For me, listening to Phil Spector’s A Christmas Gift For You is as redolent of Christmas as advent calendar chocolate and the smell of the tree. Before he went completely nuts, Spector was a studio craftsman with few equals. Here, he rearranges traditionally ho ho-hum standards with 60’s pop resplendence, layering garlands of strings, bells, horns, piano, drums and richly layered vocals from the likes of Darlene Love and Ronnie Spector, who belt the living jesus out of the songs. I don’t care what holiday you celebrate this season, if this album doesn’t make you weep for joy like Jimmy Stewart fumbling with Zuzu’s petals, I don’t even want to look at you, Grinch.
If the visions of sugarplums dancing in your head tend to follow raging irish whiskey benders, then the sweet wistful sounds of Low and Aimee Mann’s Christmas songs may be the pine and clove-scented analgesic you seek. Low’s spare and beautiful album is a welcome respite when you tire of the holiday standards. Although their versions of ‘Blue Christmas’ and ‘Little Drummer Boy’ are breathtaking, tracks like ‘One Special Gift’ are the soundtrack to the last embers of the yule log fading away. Aimee Mann’s One More Drifter In The Snow is brand new this year, but if you have any affinity for her music, it’s destined to be a classic. The atmosphere is bittersweet but warm, aided by clean production.
Now we all know how Mr. James Brown can get up and do his thing to the Funky Drummer, but did you know he can also turn out some funky Little Drummer Boy as well? It brings a tear to my eye to think that it took almost 30 years to hear it for myself. Still, when I hear the dulcet strings and background singers open ‘Let’s Make Christmas Mean Something This Year’, it feels like the only gift I need for the rest of my years. You can almost hear the cape being wrapped around the Godfather as he screams and pleads for mercy. The tight 70’s funk stomp of ‘Hey America (It’s Christmas Time)’ may seem incongruous at first, but when James starts riffing, singing “Hava Nagila” and “Assalamu Alaikem” out of the blue, you realize just how little those sleepy old Bing Crosby renditions have taught you about the world at Christmas time. Thank you, James.
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But you haven’t REALLY had a funkified XXXmas until you done BUGGED OUT to Christmas is 4 ever by Bootsy m’fuckin Collins my G, gots to get you some of that stanky Boot-Off the Funky Reindeer, don’t fake the funk or your nose will grow!
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